Are You a Shameless Geek?

Are You A Shameless Geek?

Barely a lifetime goes by between times when people ask me "How do I know if I'm a Shameless Geek?". I'd like to present this answer to all of those who have asked. (and I'd like to formally thank both of them) This should give enough guidance for you to determine for yourself whether you qualify. As for me... I'm definitely a Major Geek and a Shameless Geek.

The true measure of a Shameless Geek is not in how Geeky he/she is, but in how Shameless. For example: It's one thing to be a Trekkie. That makes you a Geek. It's quite another to have taken an entrance exam for Star Fleet Academy. That would make you a Major Geek. The Shameless part lies in what you do with those results. If you hide them in a desk drawer, or slip them into a newspaper and send them off for recycling, then you can never be a Shameless Geek. The step to Shameless Geek happens when you have them silkscreened onto a t-shirt, or engraved on a brass plaque.

It's also important to stress that you don't have to be a Major Geek to be a Shameless Geek. A slightly geeky thing done without shame is better than a really geeky thing that is hidden in embarassment. Bragging about how you beat the first "Boss" while playing a game at novice level is the act of a Shameless Geek. Hiding the fact that you beat the game in less than a weekend is not.

With that in mind, here are a few examples of the difference between Geek, Major Geek, and Shameless Geek:

If you take the Geek Test, You are a Geek
If you score 35%+, You're a Major Geek
If you post your score anywhere on the Wild Wild Web, you're a Shameless Geek.
If you rely on your computer for entertainment, you are a Geek
If you rely on your computer for a social life, you are a Major Geek
If you and your computer entertain each other at parties, you are a Shameless Geek
If you know what a "Super Turbo Turkey Puncher" is, you are a Geek
If you have the highest score on it that you have ever heard of, you are a Major Geek
If you have posted your score on a forum and challenged your friends to beat it, you are a Shameless Geek
If your IT department at work trusts you to do your own computer administration, you are a Geek
If your IT department is afraid that you will do their computer administration, you are a Major Geek
If your IT department gave up on trying to remove your personal web site from the corporate web server, you are a Shameless Geek.
Translate a program from Java to C++: Geek
Translate a program from Java to C and Assembler: Major Geek
Translate a program from Java to Klingon: Shameless Geek (extra points if it actually works)
Use your computer to make fart noises: Geek
Use your computer to make fart noises remotely over the Internet: Major Geek
Use your body to make fart noises and use your computer to record it: Shameless Geek
2+ screen names: Geek
4+ screen names: Major Geek
Multiple screen names that you use at the same time just to see if you are online: Shameless Geek
Tried to hack your cell phone: Geek
Tried to hack your cell phone to run Linux: Major Geek
Tried to hack your cell phone to shout obscenities at telemarketers: Shameless Geek
Created a spam filter: Geek
Created a spam filter that sends an email bomb to spammers: Major Geek
Created a spam filter that generates an IRS audit notice to spammers: Shameless Geek
When running the hurdles in gym class, tripped over one of the hurdles: Geek
When running the hurdles in gym class, tripped on the way to the first hurdle: Major Geek
When running the hurdles in gym class, tripped over the starting line, recorded it, and won $10,000 in a funniest video contest: Shameless Geek

Number 10 is my favorite, because I see it as an example of a truly Shameless Geek. So what if we make mistakes? So what if our feet naturally point in completely different directions? Turn those little flaws and foibles into cold, hard, cash!

Well, there it is. Thats the best set of examples that I can come up with. If you have any suggestions for more, let me know.

-- Shameless